Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What is the funniest husband-wife comedy team ever: Abbott & Costello, Martin & Lewis, Burns & Allen or something else entirely?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What are the legal obligations of a new homeowner if the previous owner leaves furniture in the house after moving out?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t buy bullshit

Why am I not attracted to masculine men? Why do I like more feminine attributes on a man?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t cotton to rapists

How can I fall asleep fast at night?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I actually pay taxes

What are the most common signs that a partner will cheat before it happens?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Is Jesus God almighty?

I can read

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I see through liars

What methods do private investigators use to investigate someone in real life?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Why do liberals and Democrats think it’s “ironic” for Donald Trump to say “We have to get back to law and order”?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why do I have an itch in my labia, white gooey and thick discharge which doesn't have a smell but my vagina does sometimes and both me and my partner do not have STDs, what is it?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Can the existence of past lives be proven without the use of hypnosis or a pendulum to inquire about previous incarnations?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

How do you get started in bestiality with a dog as a male?

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

This Alarming COVID Symptom Is Everywhere With The Latest Variant. We Asked Experts What You Need To Know. - buzzfeed.com

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why should the US public listen to Lauren Boebert, the queen of hypocrisy tell us, "We need morals back in our nation" when her real-time video is the heartbeat of immoral? Why does her audio not match her video?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What did someone say to you that instantly made you realize their life was in danger?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can count

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”